bounce. I need more bounce.

I mean...in terms of my sound, not action, you silly. We're singing this african song called "Kaun'ga Yachee" (say kah-ooo-ng-ah ya-chee) for the concert. It's a simple piece..but it's hard to have the right feel for it. Oh wells. I need to have more "bounce". Arrrrgh. *hops around the room like a mad bunny*

I can't believe I actually hesitated when I was about to say the word "boyfriend". Does it mean anything to me? It was surprising how it struck a raw nerve...and even though I appeared to be perfectly fine, I was actually trying to keep myself from drowning in self-pity again. It's a horrible feeling...lapsing in and out of it. Night seems to be able to accentuate every single emotion within me...even those that I've sought to suppress for a long time. Sometimes, I try to numb myself with all the work around me, immersing myself in the countless tutorials...attempting in vain to hide it all inside. But when I'm in bed...they just come back - all at once. It's like a thousand images all flashing in your mind for attention...only that you know you can't afford the time and energy to give them any. I can't bring myself to anyway. Once, I gave in...and it hurt so much I just broke down.

I hate it when I expose myself like that. But I suppose not many people will read it anyway...so it's fine.

save me from this place-