[the voice within]

Je me presse de rire de tout, de peur d'être obligé d'en pleurer. -Pierre Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais

Sunday, May 14, 2006

The final lap.

Just one more week to go. This last week will end my journey with the hwach choir. Whether it'll end with me being relieved (of the songs and of the commitment) or even with a tinge of nostalgia, I haven't an inkling. But I'm sure I'll never forget what happens next sunday, just like how I still remember how the last concert for the rv choir went. It wasn't perfect. Then again, nothing ever needed to be. Sometimes, at that very moment, all that matters is that you're giving your best and that you're making music together. It doesn't have to be perfect. Just my two cents worth.

Practices these few days have been traumatic. To describe them as a roller-coaster ride is hardly apt at all. All I remember is my feeling low and depressed at how we didn't even forsee ourselves singing so badly. Not one person raised concerns about how we might end up singing like crap during rehearsals, how no one realised we haven't worked on some songs for weeks, how no one even...Shucks. All that whining again. For now, it's rather pointless that we work on the intangibles like bonding. We have to get down to the fundamentals - technique, staggering with other people and the overall musicality of each piece. Let's give it all that it's worth. Coming from me, it must mean something, right?

It's just quite disappointing how no one in my class really wants to come for the concert and I'm finding it hard trying to hide my disappointment. Deep down, I know it's not their fault, for choral music is hardly anyone's favourite genre of music. But then again, we're putting in so much for the concert, we're toiling endlessly on the songs...but do they realise it? All that's being presented on stage doesn't come easily, that's for sure. And I just wish all concert-goers would realise that. Sometimes, I remind myself about how much effort was actually put into playing those flawless notes and putting up those impeccable performances...and suddenly, I'm humbled by the dedication that the musicians have to their music and to the group.

***

Same things are plaguing my mind, but I shan't enumerate them all here. To cut to the chase, I have things that I'm strangely excited (!!) about. Haha...like the upcoming french proficiency exam! Wooot. Can't wait for it, really! I wonder what I'll even do with the certificate. Will I go to France to study? Am I even prepared to study in France? I know it's a lot easier trying to get a scholarship to study in a non-English speaking country, but trying to match the opposing desires of studying french (!!) and studying in english, which does facilitate learning, especially at the university level, is difficult. Bah. Just random musing.

More jumping. More pulling. Yes. Written even if only to remind myself.

Much work left. Not much time. Such a deja vu.

***

Sais-tu que je voulais tellement que tu sois là?

1 Comments:

At 11:24 PM, Blogger Edmund said...

hey sean..

knw it's terrible this few wks... been vvv bad for me also... but hang on thr yeah? if anything thr's always me here if u ever approach.. haha :)

anyway cant figure out wat the last line is... heeez.. mind telling me somehow? :)

and jiayou! dun give up!!

 

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