Of rubato and latte.

Finally broke out of drone-hell and got out to meet Abel to perform some of our diploma pieces. Oh man! I have no idea what I'd do without this guy, seriously. If he didn't even suggest doing the diploma together, I'd still be lounging around playing nonsense (read: sonatinas I've played a thousand times over) and amusing myself! At least now I've gotten down to playing some real stuff.

Mental notes: Stop taking the mozart sonata opening so fast! It just totally killed my semiquaver runs towards the middle section. My left wrist was close to falling apart from all that Alberti bass hell at that speed! And er, I could afford to spend more time with my Bach. I love Bach. I could just live off Bach music all day. XP

Ok, things I need to do now include actually completing my repertoire for the associate diploma! And getting down to finding the second and third movements to the Mozart sonata. I'm seriously thinking whether I should just get a teacher to have lessons once a fortnight just to make sure I'm not mucking things up, like playing in a wrong manner or *gasp* technical insufficiencies.

I'm still amazed at how Abel played his pieces. Sigh! It'll be a long time before I can even attempt Kreisler's Praeludium and Allegro and not to mention Bach's Partita No. 2 for the violin! On a side note, Dvorak's opening to the first Romantic Piece is awfully beautiful.

Am currently an addict on lattes - the cheapo schmippo McDonald's one. Yes, cheap thrill.

catching up.

People keep asking me what I'm doing this holidays and sadly, I don't have much to say about it!

I only realised this really tragic fact when I went out with HL the other day. She offered to give me a treat after getting not only a physiology distinction viva, but a chance at the physio competition and dean's list as well. So, it was basically a "thank you" treat.

Sometimes I really wonder what it takes to make a person feel appreciated. I, for one hand, think that HL really went out of her way to give me a treat and give me all that presents and all that, but it really felt nice to know that someone appreciates what you have done for them in that one year. I haven't made many real friends in med school and this time, I'm sure it's just me. I like to stick alone. My OG is nice and all, but somehow, they just tend to bond better? AH. Blame it on me, thank you very much.

So, I got to know HL so much better - her worries, her own expectations...and I realised she's just like the rest of us. I use to venerate her, but now, I realised that she's just one extremely capable lady. Ah well. So much for being star struck and all.

***

We had a family portrait taken today at Hougang. I miss having everyone together again - just like CNY. And it's pretty memorable for my mum since she's finally graduated after 7 years at the Open U. She took many breaks to take care of us kids of home when we were facing important exams like A levels, PSLE and what not, so I'm really proud of her. Imagine writing 1000++ word essays on top of work! I can't even finish my freakin' readings sometimes.

***

One more month of holidays to go! I'm going to earn myself some money. :) Yet, I'm filled with trepidation about M2, what with the lack of the 4 month break again and the fact that I'm yet one step closer to working my ass off at the hospital - forever.

Revving the engine!

Ok, so PDCP came and went. I skipped quite a good bit of the lectures and the tutorials and still managed to write something decent for the exam.

Then my holidays were punctuated by periods of nothingness - just plain chillax.

And now, I'm busier than ever! Got the GAP thing, the research project that I'm doing with Abel and my diploma to work on. I actually felt a mild bit of stress today, which is disturbing considering these things are meant to be fun. I need to reassess my priorities, I think.

Inner struggles abound. Just a few days back I thought I sorted it out, but clearly they are back to haunt me. And I'm not sure why. It was one of those "I think I know myself better than all of you combined" days, but all the PDCP stuff about "people reflecting who you are back to you" is getting a little to me. I know I shouldn't be bothered but I've so much time on my hands now there's no harm indulging in self-contemplation (pun not intended).

Once again, thank God for friends and family. I wouldn't have been able to stay sane till now.

I puzzle myself sometimes. Will leave some of my thoughts for later. Filing them under "Good to think about, even better to act on later".

greetings, said the holidays.

And so the holidays have begun! :) I'm all radiant and beaming at the thought of having close to 4 months to chill and have a good time before the new school year starts in august.

I've always had the habit of asking myself what I want to achieve during the long holidays. Aims varied from learning how to play guitar (which not surprisingly came to no avail) to just lazing around and enjoying the moment (such as before NS, in the wake of the A levels). But this time, I realised it's pretty important for me to keep in touch with friends and family.

I haven't been studying too hard over the past year. Grades are pretty telling, I think! But somehow my moving out of the house to my granny's changed the family dynamics a little. Fortunately, it's for the better, though whether it's the case of "absence makes the heart grow fonder" I've yet to see, but it's definitely better for me to have my own room. My brother and I are just way too different for us to share a room together. The toilet(!) sends me into fits every time.

Friends! Must go out for often, to compensate for the lack thereof during the school term. Somehow everyone is just perpetually "busy" - I am too, though sometimes I really wonder, "with what"?

I'm still procrastinating about the whole DipABRSM/ATCL. Abel has long moved on - gotten a teacher, practising his pieces. And he even plans to complete his 1000 word programme notes by this holidays! And what have I done so far? Ok, I've hunted down Sonata in C major K309, my toccata by Bach and a Haydn sonata. Haven't had the time to look through the 20th century pieces though I really like the Rachmaninov preludes. I need to grab a teacher! ARGH. I really should decide whether I want to do this or not and just get down to actually doing it, instead of bumming around aimlessly with the piano.

Was enlightened yesterday about boy-meets-girl issues by Lois and shu. Thanks guys, appreciate it. I always have a good time out with you guys. :)

My cousin asked me why we have to pee and why we can't just retain all the water in our bodies. He's only primary one and he has already started to question the need to pee. Almost rolled over and died on the spot. The only thing I remember about peeing at that time was trying to freaking aim. My friend's maid even promised to give him 10 cents each time he actually pee-ed into the toiletbowl and not around it. Couldn't stop laughing when he told me that.

getting there!

Almost choked on the panadol that I was taking just now, but never mind that. There are more important issues to worry about!

Issues are abound, yes. Today's the day before the professional exams (which are equivalent to the finals) and I'm not as confident about them as I'm supposed to be. Sure, I can probably rattle off the main nerves/arteries/enzymes/metabolic pathways but sometimes to get that elusive A, I can't help but wonder how much more I need to do, especially when I'm near the fat bulge of the bell curve. Oh the dreaded bell curve!

Still, much work remains to be done. More notes to re-read, textbooks to plow through and papers to do just so I don't get too much of a cardiac arrest during the actual exam itself.

The past few days have been fun! I've been living with my grandparents for a good 6 months or so now 'cause it's just so much nearer school. I don't have to squeeze myself into the crowded train of executives just to get to clementi mrt. It's also much quieter here now that I've my own room - my violin, my keyboard (which is a rather poor substitute for a piano, but will have to do for now) and laptop and not forgetting my tomes and stacks of notes. Yes, I'm good.

Sometimes during the weekends, when my grandparents are up and about hanging out at chinatown or watching a movie downtown or whatever, I get the whole apartment to myself, which isn't too bad! I really just need peace and quiet to study, although some supervision is also required. I'm just waaaay too distracted for my own good - facebook, blogs. URGH.

Driving test's coming up on friday! Most of my instructors have commented that my driving technique itself is rather good although I'm a careless driver. That leaves a lot to be desired (those freakin' pedestrians!!!!). Note to self: Check mirrors obsessively, watch out for pedestrians and cars(!!) in blind spots and drive within the speed limit! Hope all goes all. If there are any horror stories, I'll share them!

Bro's recovering well after the accident. Somehow I hope he's learnt his lesson. Riding on the road at 1am in the morning, hello? Cerebral cortex malfunction, really. What is one even doing at 1am awake unless you're a struggling medical student trying desperately to chow down all the notes?

Oh wait, I'm not making myself feel better. But he really deserved it. Apart from the large 15cm abrasion on his neck, he's pretty ok. No broken bones despite projectile-ing in the air for a bit so thank God for that. My grandma's threatened to throw away all his bikes - quite funny the way she said it, although the look on my brother's face was also priceless.

That'll teach him!

The sedentary lifestyle I'm living

Yes, I'm living out a sedentary livestyle - out loud, almost. I park myself in front of the desk to read my notes, surf the web, read more notes and occasionally, lift my derriere from my seat to grab a drink/bite/lunch/whatever.

Now that explains the visceral layer of adipocytes (read: fat) forming a conglomerate in the abdominal region. GAH! I have to go run or something, if only to atone for the sinful deed of eating fast food for lunch two days in a row. Yes, I do fall for temptations as such.

I was busy looking for scores to play on the piano today! And guess what! I found myself a pretty skeletal version of Libertango by Astor Piazzolla to satisfy my playing urges. Wish it came with a more embellished version of it with more elaborate right hand parts, but oh well. It will have to do for now until I figure out how to squeeze the inner part into my left hand instead of having it fumble with the right hand notes.

Details of my violin! I exceeded my budget by $20 but the violin's lovely. I love the tone of the violin - woody and mellow but not at all muted. Yay. This should inspire me to practise harder and attain grade 8 at least! ARGH. But for now, it's the earaches and the incessant playing of Minuet in G to get my bowing right.

Georgia, we can do it! (although I know you'll probably not read this, but, practise hard! Et prends soin de ton violon! quand tu reviens à singapour, on peut jouer ensemble! :)

My dog's driving me crazy at home. Can't stop barking, that little monster. I blame it on the rain.

THE RAIN! It makes me want to hibernate in the afternoon, which is obviously a non-feasible option considering how much there is left to study for anatomy (shudders) and biochemistry. Physiology is going to take forever by itself. I need to focus.

Just gotta hang in there before the long break comes!

post-CA, pre-pros.

I just answered the phone prior to typing this entry and the auntie on the phone replied, "Wei, uncle ah?". =( Ah well. At least I don't have a kiddy voice.

YES! The CAs are finally over. 3 days felt like forever, as usual. If there's anything I've learnt from the past three days, it's that it's extremely stressful trying to sort things out the day before the CAs. Especially for anatomy.

Which leads to me to wonder, whatever happened to the promise I made to myself to buck up for semester two??

To be fair, I completed most of my readings on time, which already calls for some superhuman effort already. My physiology textbook is dutifully highlighted in pink (which matches the red-grey bichrome layout) and my anatomy textbook is read and re-read. But still, I couldn't tell whether there were two corpora spongiosum or two corpora cavernosa in the penis.

Wait. Come to think of it, cavernosum (singular) and cavernosa (plural). No spongiosa!!! ARGH. But I had to scribble (rather gleefully) that it was the corpora spongiosum of the penis in the CA some more. Terrible latin spelling. Would have left Socrates spinning in his grave.

I think I was a little distracted this time round with the violin. I always seem to be distracted by instruments. First, it was the piano, then there were the people who play the violin or piano, then now it's the violin. What is wrong with me! And it's always during the exam period that I can't seem to sit still reading about diabetes mellitus. GAH. Now I know why I don't really well for exams. I should just lock up all my instruments and leave myself with my notes.

Going off to buy my violin tomorrow! Yay. Much to look forward to. Will post pictures hopefully.

There. One day (out of three) down. 2 more to go before the mad study blaze comes back again.