Now that it's over.

"Aspiration - Voices in Flight" is over. As well as possibly my last time singing with the hwach choir.

We sang better than usual today, although Hainan did take a beating because of how out of tune we were right from the start...but then again, all that didn't matter. For that moment. We cherished the time together on stage and we sang our best.

Thank you for all that you have given me and for reminding me that singing will always remain as one of my greatest passions.

Thank you for the music, for giving it to me.

To all of you.

The final lap.

Just one more week to go. This last week will end my journey with the hwach choir. Whether it'll end with me being relieved (of the songs and of the commitment) or even with a tinge of nostalgia, I haven't an inkling. But I'm sure I'll never forget what happens next sunday, just like how I still remember how the last concert for the rv choir went. It wasn't perfect. Then again, nothing ever needed to be. Sometimes, at that very moment, all that matters is that you're giving your best and that you're making music together. It doesn't have to be perfect. Just my two cents worth.

Practices these few days have been traumatic. To describe them as a roller-coaster ride is hardly apt at all. All I remember is my feeling low and depressed at how we didn't even forsee ourselves singing so badly. Not one person raised concerns about how we might end up singing like crap during rehearsals, how no one realised we haven't worked on some songs for weeks, how no one even...Shucks. All that whining again. For now, it's rather pointless that we work on the intangibles like bonding. We have to get down to the fundamentals - technique, staggering with other people and the overall musicality of each piece. Let's give it all that it's worth. Coming from me, it must mean something, right?

It's just quite disappointing how no one in my class really wants to come for the concert and I'm finding it hard trying to hide my disappointment. Deep down, I know it's not their fault, for choral music is hardly anyone's favourite genre of music. But then again, we're putting in so much for the concert, we're toiling endlessly on the songs...but do they realise it? All that's being presented on stage doesn't come easily, that's for sure. And I just wish all concert-goers would realise that. Sometimes, I remind myself about how much effort was actually put into playing those flawless notes and putting up those impeccable performances...and suddenly, I'm humbled by the dedication that the musicians have to their music and to the group.

***

Same things are plaguing my mind, but I shan't enumerate them all here. To cut to the chase, I have things that I'm strangely excited (!!) about. Haha...like the upcoming french proficiency exam! Wooot. Can't wait for it, really! I wonder what I'll even do with the certificate. Will I go to France to study? Am I even prepared to study in France? I know it's a lot easier trying to get a scholarship to study in a non-English speaking country, but trying to match the opposing desires of studying french (!!) and studying in english, which does facilitate learning, especially at the university level, is difficult. Bah. Just random musing.

More jumping. More pulling. Yes. Written even if only to remind myself.

Much work left. Not much time. Such a deja vu.

***

Sais-tu que je voulais tellement que tu sois là?

SAT fever

Predilection = natural tendency.
Exculpate = exonerate.
Enervate = weaken.
Apocryphal = fallacious or esoteric.
Hackneyed = commonplace = trite.

"Simply stated, it is sagacious to eschew obfuscation." - Norman R. Augustine.

Amen, Lord. Amen.

***

Listening to the choir alumni sing today in the afternoon just reminded me of why I am here in the choir in the first place. Not because I need the leadership position, not because I need something to extend my pathetic CV, not because I have nothing else better to do (trust me, that is so not true.), but because simply, I love singing. I enjoy making music with other people. And it's quite disheartening to know that people around me don't seem to appreciate how difficult it is to achieve a good sound, how beautiful choral music can be at times. Even my mum banalises choral music. Sheesh. What more have I got to say? Then again, amongst like-minded people in the AVT today, enjoying the extremely good sound and very musical performance by the alumni, I knew that was it. I still enjoy singing. But what happened to all that burning excitement at the start of J1? I wish I knew. For now, I'm just going to work on getting that rich bass sound - like that bass solo guy. Oh man, his voice just fills the room and he makes it look so easy! Almost effortless. What an irony.

Singing is much more difficult than what other people think. It's not like playing an instrument. You don't just practise and somehow "get it". Just look at me. Flippin' poignant example of a person who hasn't "got it" even after close to 6 years of singing. BAH. I rest my case.

My new spectacles rock. Yep, they absolutely do. *nods*

Off to finish off my book.